LEVELS PART II (Levels of Love)

I want to talk to you about LEVELS OF LOVE. In the previous lesson, we talked about levels and used the analogy of a swimming pool and how there are different levels of maturity. Now when I say levels, I am not speaking from the understanding as most people use the word. I hear people all the time say things like, “I’m going to another level,” or, “I’m on another level,” or, “You are not on my level.” That is not what I am talking about in this lesson. Last lesson I shared with you about how I was attempting to teach my son how to swim and introducing my daughter to a deeper side of the pool. As I was at the pool, I noticed something. When you look at a swimming pool from the outside you will notice that it is all the same level on the surface. You look at one side and you see water and the frame of the swimming pool. You look on the other side you will notice there is water and the other part of the frame of the pool. Even in the middle, it just looks like one balanced level of water. As I continued to look at the pool I noticed on the outside of the frame there were numbers. One side was labeled three feet, another was four feet and the other was five feet. However, from the surface it all looks the same. This can be the case when we are looking at love. From the surface it looks very similar. But there are definitely different levels of love.

When I was a little kid, I used to think that love was just love. I mean I knew that there were different types of relationships but I just thought love was love and it was just different based on if it was my relative or a friend. My love for family ran deep. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for family. I would go hard for my family. And the closer my family is, the deeper the love ran. Then I thought that it also was different based on if it was my friend that was a girl or a boy. If the boy was nice to me, he was my best friend. If he was kind of mean, I was not going to be his friend. If she was a pretty girl, I might like her. If she wasn’t so pretty, I most likely didn’t and she was just my friend. Oh, but don’t let me find out she liked me back and she was pretty? TEAM NO FOCUS in full effect! I would think about her all the time. I would lose my mind and I felt like I was falling in love because my entire being was consumed with thoughts of her. What I didn’t know as a kid, I now understand that I placed people in different groups of love based on my relationship with them.

There are actually four types of love that are described in the bible but the actual Greek terms are not mentioned. Let’s step into three feet. The first love level Greek word, PHILEO or PHILIA (FILL-ee-O or FILL-ee-uh) means brotherly love or close friendship. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. (Romans 12:10). This is the kind of love you have for someone with common interests, common goals, or personalities that are very similar. When you discover things about someone you know that are common with you, it makes you feel closer. I like the color blue, you like the color blue? My birthday is in August and so is yours? We both like the same kind of music? Oh, it’s on now! My brother or my sister! We need to hang out or something. When I lived in Lakeview with my grandmother, I met one of my closest friends at church and his name was Antoine. He was a drummer and I was an organ player. So we had music on the brain and that was enough to establish some common ground.

Okay, so now let’s step into four feet. The second love level Greek word, STORGE (STOR-jay), is the kind of love between family members. An example is the natural love or affection of a parent for their child like the love of Jacob for his sons or the strong love Mary and Martha had for their brother Lazarus. And this can even be really close friends like Jonathan and David. This is where the water is a little deeper. Most family members love run deep like this. We know secrets about each other. We cover each other and there is nothing we would not do to make sure each other is happy. This is where we could call each other and just be on the phone asking stupid things like, “What-chu doin’?” or “Turn to TV to FOX so we can watch Scandal at the same time.” And then we sit on the phone like we in the same room. This is plutonic love that is shared that is not necessarily gender specific. I just love my friend. We could have just got into an argument and will still want to hang out together. As I began to spend more time with my friend Antoine, we became closer just like that. I started spending the night at his house. Sometimes I would eat dinner with him and his family. His sisters and brothers treated me just like their real brother. You could not tell them to this day that I am not their brother. What made it really real? His mother, Deborah kind of adopted me as her own son. That was deep. At the time, my mother was not in the picture but I knew she loved me to pieces. She always had. I believe this was God’s way of giving me my mom in another form. And even while my mom wasn’t there, I could feel her love through this woman, Deborah Nicholson Jones. She is still my other mother to this day. I also met two people at church who were my Youth Pastor Carl Alexander and my Youth Church Mother Tania Alexander at the time. The more we got to spend time with them I was drawn in because I had never got to go and see two African American married people who loved God in their own household just hanging out. They also loved me like I was their own. I could not believe this. I just wanted to go home and let this all be reality for me as well. This is what a family should look like.

We move on to five feet of water. The third love level Greek word is EROS (AIR-ose). This is a sensual or sexual type of love. This love has its place and is important in a healthy marriage. When I was coming up, sex was talked about as if it was nasty. All I knew was that God’s word was clear that sex outside of the context of marriage was forbidden. I remember meeting this one young lady that I started talking to over the phone and when we met, it was instant sensuality. What completely messed me up was that I didn’t take the time to get to know her ahead of time. If I would have, I would have discovered some things about her that would have made me not get involved with her. But I was too involved now. We already did it now and it feels right but I knew in my mind that it wasn’t. I was so torn between my flesh and my spirit. How in the world am I going to be the church organist, youth choir director and young minister and having sex outside of marriage? My flesh didn’t care. It wanted more and I gave it all it could take. The problem was now I swam from five feet of water to now a deep ocean that seemed like an abyss. I just knew that if I stopped swimming the water would rise so far above my head and I could possibly drown.

But something amazing happened….I discovered another level of love that I had never experienced before. He showed me AGAPE (uh-GAH-pay) love.  Even after I had spent a year being with this girl and was going back to God crying and repenting and asking for his grace, He dove into that ocean, took me by the hand and pulled me right back up so that I would not drown. I felt his Spirit overshadow me like He did when I was a brand new baby Christian. This happened over and over and over again. Why? Because God knew my heart was in the right place. Now, let me make this abundantly clear. I am not suggesting to anyone that you should just go on and keep sinning and doing wrong because God will forgive you anyway. It’s not wise to do that. “Therefore, leaving behind the elementary teachings about the Messiah, let us continue to be carried along to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead actions, faith toward God.”

Remember earlier when I said, “When you look at a swimming pool from the outside you will notice that it is all the same level on the surface.” When you look at a swimming pool you will notice that from the outside you can never tell how deep it goes. Same is the situation with different people. From just looking at people on the outside, you will never know how deep they run. Let me encourage you all like me who have not done such a good job at putting the people in our lives in their proper places of love. You will find it harder to stay upset with people you expected to be your brother and they really only thought of you as a friend. Or that person you expected to be your soul mate that is now your ex and you are so mad at them because of what they did to hurt you. Needless to say, you should be glad they are an ex. In fact, God is releasing you to call them your “Y.” Why did I ever get involved with you in the first place? I should have known better because God didn’t give you to me, I did.

I declare today, that it’s time to put people in your life in their appropriate places or levels of love. Those that belong in three feet, let them stay there. Stop trying to drag them into five feet. No wonder they drowned. They weren’t able to swim in any deeper water than what you expected them to. It’s time to put people in their respective places. Pull those folks out of those deep waters that are drowning in your life or the water is too deep.

I have realized that recently my wife was in the big ocean with weights on drowning. I had no idea. She was ready to let my hand go and I was ready to release as well. God reminded me, “Marcus, if I pulled you out, you are OBLIGATED to pull her out. This is the meaning of AGAPE. Selfless, sacrificial and unconditional love.  ^“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails.”

Who is it in your life right now that is unable to go any further than three feet that you are mad at for not coming with you? Who is it in your life that is drowning in the ocean that you need to pull out and rescue just as God rescued you? God says, “I know it’s not easy. And I am not expecting you to do it perfectly. I just want you to do it.” When you think about how much he loves you and sacrificed for you, it makes it easier to love someone else beyond their faults and see their needs.

LEVELS PART I (Levels of Maturity)

I am a Father of four beautiful and well mannered children, three daughters and one son. One of the things God has really been dealing with me on is my relationship with my kids. This week my wife and the two younger kids (Jevon and Markaila) had a great time on work/vacation. I say work/vacation because every year for the last 21 years I have been blessed to go on this African-American themed cruise where I go to run the Gospel activities for the week. I’ll tell you more about that at another time.

I got time to really spend some quality time with my family, in particular my two younger kids, Jevon and Markaila. One of the activities they love to do is swimming. Markaila lightweight knows how to swim. She glides through the water but she goes all the way under. Jevon does not know how to swim at all. He needs the help of a floating device. I haven’t taught him how to swim yet. One of the issues with that is all three of the pools on the boat are four and a half feet. He was only allowed to go on the water slide since the water slide only is like ankle depth. I noticed my daughter would get in the four and half feet, but she wasn’t comfortable. Let’s fast forward a little bit and I’ll circle back to this point later.

So we finish the cruise and get off the ship on Sunday and take like a 15 minute ride to the hotel where we are staying over for a night before flying back home the next day. We check into the hotel and I told the kids, “You guys can go swimming today because we have a whole day to chill and hang out and half the day tomorrow.” I take them down and I am laying back in the pool chair reading my book and getting some inspiration and motivation so that I can continue my maturation in the midst of my situation. We’ll have to revisit that thought later as well.

We go back upstairs to break and have lunch. I decided I would put on my shorts and join them in the pool. I get downstairs and I started to only put my feet in for a little while because I just wanted to read my book. However, I so sensed something divine here and I decided to just walk around in the water. As I began to move around I noticed the level of water we were in was only three feet. Fine for the kids but I am six-three. Jevon is almost four feet but he wants a floating device. 

Now, I watched him go through this for a while now and I decided that I am going to teach him right here and right now. I was very reluctant at first because I knew that he was afraid to go under the water. Two years ago we brought them on the trip and he was afraid to go under the water then as well. Keep in mind, we live in San Francisco. Needless to say, we don’t have great, warm swimming type weather here often. Yes, I know I can always get him some swimming lessons. That’s my next plan but stick to the story because there is something to learn here. So as I was feeling led, I said to Jevon, “Come here.” He swam with this beautifully decorated, blue, white and yellow floating device around him up to where I was standing still in 3 feet of water. I said, “Jevon, get out of the floatie. He climbed out and I could tell he had no clue what I was about to say to him next. I called, “Jevon,” as I tried to keep my voice kind of calm so as not to alarm him. “Come over here. It’s time to learn to swim.” Saying he looked like a deer in headlights, would be a severe understatement. I took his hand and said, “Jevon, let’s go under.” He got really quiet. I told him to hold his breath and close his mouth. I proceeded to take him under like I was Reverend Watson baptizing the first candidate at the new member service. When he came up he was shocked and shaking. I know it sounds bad but, come on. We are in three feet of water. I know you’re thinking, “Poor baby! Somebody needs to teach that mean old Daddy a lesson!” Stay with me and I promise it gets better.

I decided we would sit on the side of the pool and practice holding our breath. We do that several times. Eventually, I said, “Okay. Let’s try holding your breath and putting your face in the water.” He does that several times successfully. “Jevon, it’s time to go under again. If you did this, you can do that.” He freezes. I have Markaila try to do it with him. I even jumped in the water and did it and he still would not go. After about an hour, I just let him go get the floating device.

I go swimming through the water and I notice Markaila needs to learn to float and wade through the water. She tries but flops through it splashing everywhere but she does go under. I wanted to see how deep this water goes so I swim to the other side and noticed it goes up to five feet. She is about four and a half feet. Ding! Now I noticed why she felt uncomfortable on the boat! But she can’t keep swimming in three feet and learn how to swim because she is too tall for it. I got an idea! “Markaila! Come on let’s go! I know how I’m going to teach you how to swim better than you do now.” I go get her and proceeded to carry her to the five feet. She climbs up on me and is as scared as Jevon was. I had to talk to her and convince her to trust me, much like I did with Jevon. I tried reassuring her that I would not let anything happen to her. She would not try it unless she felt my hands under her. The moment I even moved a little, she began to panic. 

God immediately got my attention and said, “Marcus, here is where you need to pay attention.” I whispered, “I hear you, Lord.” God began to show me some things.  


1.     EVERYONE IS IN DIFFERENT AREAS OF THE POOL AT DIFFERENT OR SAME LEVELS. It doesn’t mean anyone is any better than another. If one person can swim in nine feet, it doesn’t make them any better than anyone else. It just means wherever you are you should be getting challenged. If you are not being challenged where you are (a job, church, relationship, career, etc.), it’s time to move to a deeper level of the pool or move out of the pool. In other words, don’t ever allow yourself to be intimidated by people who can pray longer than you, say lots of words in prayer, people who can stand in front of people and say such eloquent words and make people jump and shout. The place where you are should be a challenge. There are people who have never prayed or never read the scripture or never even spoke in front of people. If it is a challenge for you to pray for 8 to 10 minutes, then try practicing in your own private time praying for like 2 to 3 minutes. All of us started out in 2 to 3 feet of water at one time. If I was able to take you back to the times when I first learned to pray, you would laugh or be amazed at how different it is now and would probably ask, “Who is that?” We all start somewhere. And let me also say that the prayer does not require you to say long deep and eloquent words. The point is that you speak from a place of sincerity. You speak with the truthfulness of your spirit. Of course there is a difference between praying with other people and praying by privately. But we will cover that later. My main point in this first point is that you start where you are.  

Ecclesiastes 9:11 in the King James Version says,  “ I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.” 
If that wasn’t clear, let’s read it in the New Living Translation which says it like this, “I have observed something else under the sun. The fastest runner doesn’t always win the race, and the strongest warrior doesn’t always win the battle. The wise sometimes go hungry, and the skillful are not necessarily wealthy. And those who are educated don’t always lead successful lives. It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time.”

2. IF YOU DON’T ACCEPT THE CHALLENGE, YOU WILL OUTGROW WHERE YOU ARE. Much like the levels that my son, daughter and I, were in the water, if I had never learned how to swim, I would not be able to function in any level of that water I was in. When you accept Christ you are like a baby that needs to be fed or you will suffer from malnutrition or worse case you will die.
Ephesians Chapter 4 starting at verse 14 says, “¹⁴ Then we will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. ¹⁵ Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church. ¹⁶ He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.”

Let me also point out that when you are not being challenged, this is also how burnout, boredom and complacency become a reality. We will cover that later. 

3.     FIND WHAT YOU FEAR, AND FACE IT. Hidden in that fear is a warrior that can do more than conquer where you are. Romans 8:37 says, “Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.” The New Living Translation says, “No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.” We were not made to just conquer, but to be more than a conqueror. In order to do that, we have to face the thing we fear the most.

Abolish The "N" Word

I am really starting to see the "N" word being used a lot now with people from several different type of races. My problem with this word is not what they want it to mean, but where it comes from. We have ancestors who have died by this word and suffered losses because they refused to be called this word. For the record, here is the definition:

Noun 1. nigga - (ethnic slur) extremely offensive name for a Black person; "only a Black can call another Black a nigga"; jigaboo, nigger, nigra, coon, spade

derogation, disparagement, depreciation - a communication that belittles somebody or something
ethnic slur - a slur on someone's race or language

Black person, blackamoor, Negro, Negroid, Black - a person with dark skin who comes from Africa (or whose ancestors came from Africa)

The last half of this is what offends me the most. How is it that this is what defines a black person who comes from Africa? So, now I hear kids calling each other this, like you're saying "my friend" or something. It's just like the "B" word. It's offensive for guys to call a girl a female dog, but the girls can call each other that.

We need to learn to use (as Donald Lawrence has said) the right words for the right things. If you are calling someone a female dog, don't be surprised if they start taking on the attributes or characteristics of a dog. If you call someone a lazy, stupid or immoral person, don't be surprised when they carry themselves like that on regards to you.

-Marcus Dyson
www.marcusdyson.com

Re-Elect President Obama or No?

The following was posted by Aaron Anderson on FB.

"We must join together with one cause, one voice and commit ourselves to voting for President B. Obama. Listen, this vote will be unusual because there are those who do not wish our president well and would like him to be a one term president. We must gear our mind and heart toward getting out the vote. If we don't or fail to vote we have no choice but deal with Newt Gingrich who has called president Obama, "The Food Stamp president" Beware of the Ginrich....."

I so agree that we must Re-Elect President Obama. My reasons are not just because he is African-American, although that is a huge milestone for the world. 

Let's be honest. African-Americans aren't the only one's who were impacted by him becoming the first AA president in office. All over the world people of every color became more inspired to do great things because of this milestone.


My reasons for agreeing with re-electing him is because of that but mainly because he handles himself in the most professional way, there has yet to be any type of major scandal with him involved (unless of course it's being kept hidden very well and if that's that case, he deserves to be re-elected because they're good at keeping things concealed). It's obvious that he is head over heels about his wife and she is so very involved with his career as much as he is. I have never seen a more active first lady before. Correct me if I'm wrong on that one, not to mention I've only been alive for 38 years. There has yet to be anyone trying to say that he is cheating on his wife or anything like that. Especially with all the politicians and pastors in the last few years that were exposed or exposed themselves.

I just believe that for the first time in history, we have a president who is strong, a REAL family man and has done some great things in this country that has provoked change. Everything hasn't been perfect but the only way to have a perfect president would be to elect JESUS CHRIST! 


Please share your thoughts...I'd like to see your opinions, good or bad. Let's talk.

Racism In Flight

This is brilliant!!!

A 50- something year old white woman arrived at her seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn't want the seat. The seat was next to a black man. Disgusted, the woman immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The woman said "I cannot sit here next to this black man." The fight attendant said "Let me see if I can find another seat." After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated "Ma'am, there are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class." About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated "The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class." Before the woman could say anything, the attendant gestured to the black man and said, "Therefore sir, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn't want you to sit next to an unpleasant person." Passengers in the seats nearby began to applause while some gave a standing ovation.

 So today I opened up an article on www.bet.com that talks about a man who was suspended without pay for using the "N" word. Read the article and let me know what you think.

White Teacher Files Lawsuit After Suspension for Using N-Word 

By: Danielle Wright

  A 48-year-old Chicago public school teacher thought it was okay to use the “n-word” as a part of a history lesson and, after landing a five-day suspension from his job, he’s now filing a federal lawsuit, claiming his civil rights have been violated.


Lincoln Brown, a 21-year veteran teacher and native of Chicago’s Hyde Park, used the word while teaching a sixth grade lesson on the pitfalls of racism. After discovering a note citing rap lyrics that had the slur written on it, Brown thought he had found the perfect opportunity to teach a lesson about racism in the context of Huckleberry Finn.


In what could be called the worst timing, the school’s principal walked in just as Brown said the “n-word.” In his version of the story, Principal George Mason disputed the context in which Brown used the word and charged him with "using verbally abusive language to or in front of students,” a violation of the Chicago Public Schools’ policy.


Following a disciplinary hearing, Brown was suspended for five days without pay. In a recent lawsuit, however, Brown names Mason, CPS CEO Jean-Claude Brizard and the Chicago Board of Education, saying his first and fifth amendment rights were violated.


"It's ridiculous to believe that sixth-graders aren't exposed to this language, not only in music but in their everyday lives," Brown told the Sun Times. He also claims that the stress caused him to have high blood pressure and sleepless nights.


In December, an Atlanta teacher resigned after trying to correlate a math lesson with slavery and, just last month, a metro-Detroit teacher came under fire for asking students to participate in a slavery role-playing lesson.


Cases like Brown’s and others make us ask, “Is there an appropriate way to teach slavery?”

So after reading this, and some of the comments people shared, I can understand that him just using the word is inappropriate. However, he was really just reading the lyrics there. Not to mention, I am a teacher myself and I find myself correcting kids using this language at least 15 times a day and they are using it towards each other. The sad or crazy part is, none of the kids I correct are African-American!

What are your thoughts?

Misread Letter

HUMOR: A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida and spend some time together in celebration of Valentine's Day. Because they both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Monday, and his wife would follow him the next day.

Upon arriving, the husband checked into the hotel. There he decided to open his laptop and send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left off one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail without realizing his error.

In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who had been 'called home to glory' following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted and fell to the floor. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
From: Your Dear Departed Husband
Subject: I've Arrived!

I've just arrived and have checked in. What a trip! I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

Love you...

P.S. Sure is hot down here!