DECISIONS

WARNING: This message is not for the faint of heart or the easily offended. What you are about to hear could cause you to question where you are or cause you to rethink your position in life. Either way, it's not intended to offend or hurt in any way.

Let's talk about Decisions.

When we were babies, our parents would dress us because we were not able to do anything ourselves. They would feed us because we were not able to even say we were hungry. They would change us when we used the bathroom on ourselves because we could not walk and go to the bathroom. They would talk to us and encourage us to talk because we didn't know how yet.

Later on as toddlers we either learned to crawl or were learning to walk. We learned how to use our hands so we could do a few things ourselves. They would still dress us because we didn't know how to properly do it yet. The feeding was a little different. They still fed us some things but some stuff like finger foods we could feed ourselves. They still needed to break stuff down so we wouldn't choke. We were learning about bathroom stuff so we were either still in diapers or being potty trained. This stage in life we talked to some degree or we had a pretty vast vocabulary. Some words were still pretty challenging. For me I would say words like "Pahsgetti" for Spaghetti and "Muse-gick" for music. My son would say "Be Covet" for be quiet. I still remember my oldest daughter crawling around on the floor talking about "come-meer-baby" to everybody she seen because of what we would say to her.

By school age, walking was like drinking water. And talking we did so much of, our parents couldn't wait till we fell asleep to get some peace and quiet because we even talked while we ate. We could dress ourselves but some of our choices would have people laughing so hard they felt bad. Some of us were pretty stylish so we had no problem in this area. We could for sure feed ourselves but still could not prepare it yet. Most of us learned to use the bathroom but some of us still had a few issues at night or judging when to go. I was one of those.

By the time we were in Middle School, we think we had the world figured out. It was then when everything came crashing down. It was then or before for some of us, that we were fully exposed and introduced to severely mean kids, puberty, drugs, sex, alcohol and this stupid thing called self-identity. And by High School, most of us were learning to manage everything on our own. 

All that simple stuff we had down to a science. Unless there were some mental, physical or psychological issues, we learned to prepare food and feed ourselves, dress ourselves well, take care of bathroom and hygiene issues. Oh and the talking? By high school I had developed a pretty extensive vocabulary including how to tell someone to go jump in a lake with some harsh and severe words that would give our grandparents a cardiac arrest because it came from us, their innocent angels.

We are supposed to grow up and be able to do things on our own. So why do some of us revert to being babies, toddlers, middle or high schoolers when we are faced with problems in life. 

Some of us behave like the baby when problems come. We ignore it like we don't see it or just do nothing about it. I'm talking about the problems that have been lingering for a long time. We act like it doesn't exist like the baby who doesn't know what to do. We wait for a preacher, a partner or a prayer call to feed us a word because WE THINK we are incapable of getting it on our own. We lose our ability to change ourselves and expect someone else to clean up our mess like Oprah, Dr. Phil, Iyanla Vanzant or Tania not Tanya. What you fail to realize is those people I just named had to put in work to get where they are. The reason why the Fire didn't burn them was because they put up a fight. Yet, we do nothing at all but cry and expect God to do something about it. We behave like talking is even impossible. You could at least say something. But no. That's too much for the baby do we lay there just crying about it.

Then there are those of us who are like the toddler or school aged child. We approach the problem for a minute but when it gets hard, we retreat and run and cry and ask someone to do something pointing our finger at it and complaining. We feed ourselves a couple scriptures (or striptures) maybe like once a week and only read the simple stuff because we are afraid we'll choke off the meat. So we wait till the preacher like Bishop TD Jakes, Jamal Bryant, Sheryl Brady, Joyce Meyer, Joel Osteen or my sister Lisa Porter or my big sister ReVonda Williams can break it down for us. We pray a little bit because we can talk somewhat but when it gets tough we get someone else that we think knows how to pray to handle it. Prayer is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. Are you behaving like the baby, the toddler or the school-aged kid?

Now if you're up to at least the Middle Schooler, you're doing pretty well. The only problem is you're approaching a middle school problem with elementary behaviors. It just won't work. You have to roll up your sleeves and get a little dirty. At this stage it is imperative that you learn to deal with some things without the help of others. Even at the high school age is doing very well. The only thing is you have to try not to act more grown than you really are. This is not a criticism for the stage you are in. Whatever stage you are in, it should be your goal to grow and develop.

There are some things we need to be okay with making a decision even if it is the wrong one. Of course everybody wants to make good decisions and choices. Some things are just not completely black and white. It's those things we trust what we know and go for it and allow God to speak to us and direct our path. God is waiting for us to move while we are asking Him to move. And some stuff will feel strange because you have never done it before. Have you ever been in a position when the right decision felt wrong until you made it? If we look deep down within us, God has already given us the answers and solutions to certain questions. It's either hidden in your talent or how you spend your time. Financial issues? Look at your talent. What can you do to earn more? What can you learn that will help you manage what you have better? What are you spending your time doing? Is it a relational problem? What are you spending your time doing that is taking away from the potential success of that relationship? What talent do you have that could enhance that relationship? Think about that for a moment.

Here are a few tips that I think we can kind of go by that will help us all.

1.    American Life Coach and self-help author Anthony “Tony” Robbins said, “It’s your

decisions not your conditions that determine your destiny.” I really do agree. Everybody in life is dealt a hand. You can sit and talk about how bad the hand is or you can come up with a way to play them. It’s not the cards you have been dealt; it’s how you play them.

                         2. Never make permanent decisions on temporary feelings. Sometimes it helps to just sleep on it, search the Word, pray about it and even talk to a friend about it. The way you feel right now may not be how you feel after thinking or praying about it. Just don’t linger too long. 

3.    Don’t base your decisions on the advice of people who don’t have to deal with the result. It’s good to get advice but remember the ultimate decision is yours. God gave us a free will to choose and He expects us to use it. He trusts us to use it, especially as we grow and

mature. Some people give advice that they think is the only true and right answer. No matter how much you tell them, they are not in the situation so it’s impossible for them to totally understand the grand scheme of things. As well, it all boils down to how it will affect your life and who you are.

4.    French fashion designer Coco Chanel said, “Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.” A wall is a wall for a reason. Maybe it’s meant for you to walk around and find the door. And yes, God can turn a wall into a door. But why should he do that when all you have to do is turn around and look for the door he already created? Don’t treat God like a magician. He has already prepared our path. It’s our job to look for it and walk it out.

Some decisions are never easy, but they need to be made. Look back at your life and see how you made decisions before. Now is the time to be better and trust the YOU you are today. You will not make mistakes you made before. And if you make a mistake, so what! That's what erasers are for. God specializes in the white out ministry. If you make a dirty mess with things, don't worry. He already died so his red blood could be spread over it and your stuff will turn white as snow and reappear without a blemish.

CONVERSATIONS

Who are you? If people would describe what kind of person you are, what would they say? Not what would they truthfully say? How do others perceive you. Do they perceive you as an intelligent person or a know-it-all? Do they perceive you as caring or overbearing? Do they look at you and say you're a child of God or do they see you as a preachy judgmental religious fanatic with an attitude of nonacceptance?

Many of us use the statements, "I don't care what people think about me. I don't care what they say about me." Isn't that truly the point? How do we reach people without taking an honest look at what we look like and sound like to them? One of the best ways to do that is to get another person's honest opinion of you. You should have someone you trust to evaluate who you are and give an honest look at your character, personality and what you release into the world. If a billionaire can pay someone to come in and look at his business and tell him what it looks like, what is our problem that we can't ask someone to look at us and tell us what they see? Are we afraid of what truth they may uncover? Are we afraid we may have to actually do some work to get better? Or is it that we already think we are good and don't welcome someone else's opinion?

The perfect one, Jesus the Christ, the Son of the Living God and the one who knew no sin asked his disciples in Matthew 16:13, "Who do people say the Son of Man is?" It's not that he wanted to necessarily be what they wanted. Jesus was teaching the disciples that what people think of Him and what Simon Peter had to say were very different. People perceived him as John the Baptist or just another preacher. Some even said he was a prophet like Elijah, Jeremiah or one of the others. When Jesus asked the question, "Who do you say I am?" and Simon said, "You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God," Jesus had to respond as it was a great teaching moment. Jesus said, "Flesh and blood didn't reveal that to you." Nobody told you that. No one convinced you. You perceived this by the Holy Spirit. It's important to note what Jesus says in the 20th verse. "Then he warned his disciples not to tell anyone that He was the Christ." What? Are you trying to hide the truth? Isn't this what people should know? Why wouldn't we tell them? It just makes sense! Let's get some flyers made, create a Facebook page, start an Instagram account and just start telling everybody who you are. Jesus said no. His point was for people to get to know who he was the same way the disciples came to know; by the Holy Spirit.

My uncle used to say, "Man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still." You can preach and teach and tell people who Jesus is all day long. Until the revelation of who he is becomes real to them, none of our preaching and teaching will make any difference no matter how good, hard or convincing we make it. So does that mean we don't need to say anything? No. You let your life speak what you say you are. Jesus would ask questions of those he was doing miracles for. He would always start the process with qualifying questions. If they were not ready, he would not waste his time. To others he would say, "Your faith has made you whole."

You are not responsible for those who don't believe. You are responsible for those God has placed in your path. You can only bless those who are ready for a blessing.

There is one other thing you must recognize. Jesus didn't allow demons to speak either. Read Mark 1:22-25 and 32-34. He didn't want the demons to talk about who He was. God's spirit would reveal it. I also learn here that Jesus didn't converse with demons and evil spirits. I don't have anything to say to you. Some of us spend too much time holding a conversation with evil spirits. Doing so we establish a bond and the evil becomes connected to us. I refuse to have a conversation with depression, loneliness, sickness, poverty, disillusionment, discouragement, doubt, fear and anything else that is not bringing prosperity and good health to my life. You do know that who and what you talk with the most begins or establishes a relationship with that person or thing?

MY FRUITFUL EXPERIENCE

I really love fruits. Some of my favorite fruits are oranges, pineapples, mangos, strawberries and cantaloupes. I really enjoy kiwis and watermelon. One of my absolute favorite fruits is an apple. Apples come in a variety of ways. Some are green. I like those too. There are the Granny apples that have a little bit of sourness but just enough sweetness to balance it out. There are golden delicious apples. These have a softer outside but still deliciously sweet inside.

Yesterday, I went into the refrigerator and grabbed a beautiful red apple. It wasn’t huge. It was actually kind of small. I bit into this piece of red yummy goodness and tasted how sweet it was. It was a perfect balance of sweetness with a juicy white center on the inside and a crispy red skin on the outside. The taste was wonderful.  

Now, I know what you’re saying. “Marcus, why in the world would you waste my time to talk about fruits, trees and seeds?” Well, just to be very clear, I am really talking about you. Think of yourself as a fruit for a moment. As I share earlier, there are many, many different kinds of fruits just like there are many different kinds of people. Each person looks different and tastes different. Some people would be more like a cantaloupe (hard and scaly shell but smooth and sweet goodness on the inside). Some are like pineapples. Spiked, hard and complex on the outside and juicy, soft and sweeter than sweet on the inside. But that’s not the good part of what I wanted to share.

As I was eating that apple yesterday, I began having so many aha’s that my aha’s became aha’s. Time will not permit me to share them all. But here are the one’s that stand out to me the most. Here is the first one. I finished that small but delicious apple and I reached back in the fridge and decided that I needed another one. As I reached in and pulled out the next one, I noticed this one, had a little brown spot on it. There are times when we take a look at ourselves and realize we have some small rotten spots in us. It’s hard to deal with sometimes because if you don’t take a look, you won’t see it, but everyone else will. And there are some people in your life who have been like worms that have crawled through you and made little holes in you. You do know that an apple lasts longer when it hasn’t been pierced through the skin yet? All apples begin to rot at some point but it happens faster when the inside has been exposed. What have you been exposed to that is making or has made you rotten? What worms have you allowed to get under your skin and crawled out and have caused some rotting?

Aha number 2. I grabbed a knife and carefully cut the tiny brown spot off making sure that I cut beneath the surface so I could get the little bit of the brown away from the rest of the greatest invention ever. You are God’s greatest invention. Yes you. You might not think you matter, but God does. So he will take his knife of the word and cut away the rotten spots so it doesn’t cause the rest of your sweetness to be affected. He removes the worms so that there is no more digging through you.

Aha number three is the most powerful thought of them all, in my opinion. I began to think about the sweetness of this apple and how it originated. Apples are not a food that requires you to mix it with other ingredients. Nor do they need any seasoning or flavoring. It’s not something you have to cook or stir or even boil to create. You simply take the seeds from it and plant those seeds into the earth and water it. It will eventually grow a tree that will grow more delicious apples.

As I was enjoying the apple yesterday, I said out loud, “How did something this sweet and delicious grow from the dirt?” When we think of dirt, we think of negativity and messy stuff. That is true. Dirt can be nasty and filthy. It is not meant to be eaten. It is really not good for you to eat on it’s own. But dirt has many essential elements that are necessary to help things grow. Dirt is made up of a bunch of stuff mixed together like rocks, sand, clay and organic matter. None of which is good to eat, but the things that grow from it are.

You matter to someone. Your life can be better than what it is if you allow it to grow in good soil. The more elements that are in the soil, the more growth that will come out of it.

Mary, Mary has a song on their album called The Sound that goes like this:

“Funny thing about a garden, beauty lives within its gates
Bugs and thorns and weeds, they grow there

But they all help to create,

Vivid color variations, sweet aromas and sensations
Realize under it all, something not so beautiful
But we all ...”

“Need a little bit, need a little bit, need a little bit of dirt to grow
We need a little bit, need a little bit
Need a little rain to wash our souls
We need a little bit, need a little dirt to grow”

Remember the worms I mentioned in the beginning. You do know that worms live in the dirt, right? And they are also helping you grow. Some apples get worms in them and some don’t. It’s okay. But one thing is for sure. Everybody gets rotten sometimes. We just need our God to cut away at us sometimes so we can get those rotten places out of us. When he cuts away at us, unlike the apple, God will replace those rotten places with a fresh sweet part that fits like a missing puzzle piece. 
 

"DEAR PERFECT PERSON..."

Dear Perfect Person;

I am writing you because I know that you wanted me to share with you my problems and some of the things I have been through. You have been telling me to share and don’t worry about it. You tell me to trust you and that I can talk to you. Well, it has been kind of difficult because it’s hard to share my personal failures, dysfunctions and challenges. I am sick and tired of holding things back and I am quite upset that you don’t understand what I have been through with the inability to share those things about myself. So allow me to explain some things right here and now.

One of the reasons I didn’t want to share them was because I didn’t know who you would share my stuff with. It’s not that I was afraid for people to know, but some people can be quite evil when it comes to your messed up life. They will exploit you and your personal business. They use it as a way to elevate themselves and make them look better than others. You see all the social media posts. There are all these people who talk about how other people are so horrible. They take pictures of people in bad outfits, bad hair, doing crazy things and then everyone from the US to Chile weigh in with all these comments that are super awful. Without them even understanding the situation and why things are the way they are, they go all the way in like a panel at a witch hunt. I am not sure I am ready to be a celebrity because of some juicy gossip. People tend to be VERY unforgiving. Have you ever had anyone share something you didn’t want them to share about you? Oh yeah, I forgot. You are perfect. You have never done anything wrong before. My bad.

Another reason why I was unwilling to share my failures, dysfunctions and challenges, is because people tend to assume they know who you are based on those things. I am not my failures. I didn’t sleep around because I was loose or easy or because I was a sex addict. I used to be that way because I wanted someone to love me. It felt good to be in the arms of someone even if it was for a brief moment of what I thought was love. I was starving to be accepted by someone because I could not accept myself. I didn’t like many things about me but when other people would compliment me and want me to do things, it made me feel desired and wanted by someone. You know what that’s like right? Oh yeah. I forgot. You are perfect. What is there to dislike?

It didn’t matter what people wanted. I just wanted love, so I would do anything to keep their love even if that meant letting them have their way with me. I knew I should not have done those things, but my flesh was crying out loud because it wanted to be attended to. How am I supposed to ignore that? It’s like being hungry and your stomach is growling and you still eat nothing. After a while, you start getting pains in your stomach. Have you ever had pains in your stomach because you were hungry? Oh yeah. That’s right. You would never let yourself starve. I forgot that you are perfect.

So remember when you heard I used to talk back to teachers? I wasn’t talking back to the teacher because I just wanted to be rude and ugly. I didn’t want to get a referral. I wasn’t excited about going to sit in the principal’s office to talk to him about my behavior. What you don’t realize is that I lived in a war zone. I was tired of hearing my Mom and Dad argue and fight almost every single day. They would fight about everything and nothing all at the same time. And there I was right in the midst of it all. Then I had to leave home and walk through a drug infested, prostitute and pimp affiliated, gang violence filled neighborhood just to get to the 29 bus line every morning. While waiting for the bus, I had to deal with being asked for my number by people who knew I was a child. Come on! Couldn’t they see I was a minor? Or maybe they didn’t care. When we moved from that neighborhood to a well managed neighborhood, I still had to deal with being bullied at school. I had to deal with being picked on and talked about viciously by mean kids. Then I have to get to class and hear some teacher yell at me about how I was not listening. Really? I’m sure you remember what that was like right? Oh yeah. That’s right. You have always been liked and knew how to get along with people. I forgot you have always been perfect.

One more reason why I can’t share my personal stuff with you is because you criticize those who don’t do everything right. You know, while you’re reading this, you probably are criticizing me for not being more careful with my actions. You are probably saying that I need to think before I talk back. You might even be criticizing my grammar and where the commas are really supposed to go. You are probably even criticizing how I need to trust people more.

Well, I have a hard time trusting perfect people. Perfect people never see their own faults and what they have done wrong. Perfect people are so busy celebrating their victories that they forget, if it wasn’t for their failures, they wouldn’t have any victories.

Say what you want, but I am a victor. I may have failed, but the power is in the fact that I didn’t let the failure stop me from moving forward. I may have fallen, but I got up, dusted myself off and tried again. Nothing beats a failure but a try. I am sure I am going to have some more failures and you know what, I’m okay with that. Jesus was whipped, tortured, beaten like a piñata and then hung on a cross to bleed to death, placed in a tomb and still rose up from the dead to live again. He did all that to show me that there is nothing he can’t bring me out of. I don’t need to be perfect. I just need to trust the perfect one. You can continue being perfect because you will never be able to call yourself by the name God has given me and many others like me. Because I have had failures, dysfunctions and challenges, I know who I am. I know my identity.

Signed, Victory

II Corinthians 12:9-10, ^“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

FREE SLAVES

152 years ago on September 22, 1862, Abraham Lincoln issued the preliminary Emancipation Proclamation and declared that as of January 1, 1863, all slaves in states in rebellion against the Union "shall be then, thenceforward, and forever free.
All those people, by law, had the same rights as every other person in society. Of course we know there were many who were upset about that and did not allow them certain rights and tried to twist the law and do things to show they didn’t deserve to be free. According to those people, “They need to be controlled and contained by us.” Those now unrestricted free agents had the right to do just as other citizens.

Just like those back then, we have rights just like the rest of the citizens in the United States. We have the Freedom of Religion, which guarantees to all Americans the right to practice any religion they choose, or to practice no religion at all.

We have the right to express our ideas and opinions when we speak which is called Freedom of Speech. This freedom guarantees that Americans are free to express their thoughts and ideas about anything. They may talk freely to their friends and neighbors or speak in public to a group of people. 

We have the freedom to express our ideas and opinions in writing which is known as Freedom of the Press.

Another priceless freedom guaranteed by the First Amendment is Freedom of Assembly, or freedom to hold meetings. Americans are free to meet together to discuss problems and to plan their actions.

The Freedom of Petition is the right to ask your government to do something or to refrain from doing something.

The Second Amendment to the Constitution guarantees Americans The Right to Bear Arms which gives us the right to own an armed weapon.

The Fifth Amendment guarantees Americans The Right to Own Private Property. No person may take away anything that we own. Nor can the government seize our land, money, or other forms of property without cause, or without paying for it.

To make doubly sure that Americans should enjoy every right and freedom possible, Amendment Nine was added to the Constitution. This amendment states that the list of rights contained in the Bill of Rights is not complete. There are many other rights that all Americans have and will continue to have even though they are not mentioned in the Bill of Rights. Among them are the following.

1. Freedom to live or travel anywhere in our nation
2. Freedom to work at any job for which we can qualify
3. Freedom to marry and raise a family
4. Freedom to receive a free education in good public schools
5. Freedom to join a political party, a union, and other legal groups

Some people see that they have all these rights and now they want to exhaust them. They go and buy a gun, join any religious group, speaking out saying whatever they want to say, writing and putting out whatever they want to put on display in a book magazine or newspaper. Those rights we now have make those things okay to do. People do many things in this world, just because they can.

We however as Disciples of God, are to live differently. I Peter 2:15-17, ¹⁵ For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people. ¹⁶ Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as God’s slaves. (Exercise your freedom by serving God, not by breaking the rules.) ¹⁷ Show proper respect to everyone (Treat everyone you meet with dignity, love the family of believers, fear (respect and reverence) God, honor the emperor (or the government). (NIV)

You want to know how to shut a foolish person up, say nothing but follow God’s way. Make yourself a slave to the Word. That scripture I just mentioned talks about living as a slave of God. Every time I hear the word slave, I think of someone who is bound. In actuality, it is quite the opposite.

¹⁹ The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; ²⁰ idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions ²¹ and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

²² But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, ²³ gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. ²⁴ Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
 
We shouldn’t do things just because we can. This only shows a lack of self control. Ancient philosopher and poet of China “He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.” ― Lao Tzu

 

Where in our lives are we doing things just because we can? We tell our children do as I say not as I do. We tell people, I do stuff because I am grown and because I can. 

I was having a conversation with my daughter last night about her phone. She is 11 years old and loves her iPhone 6 I just got for her. Every time I see her she is typing on it, messaging someone, taking pictures, surfing the internet, listening to music all at the same time, because she can. No problem there because I got the phone for her so she uses it for what it can do. The problem though comes because she is on it when we get in the car, when we are at the table, when we are walking down the street, when people are talking to her and even doing things like washing dishes. I began last night talking to her in the car asking her a question and she answered me, but she was still typing and looking at the screen. I got so mad at her that I snatched the phone from her and told her, “You are on this phone too much! Having this phone is a privilege, not a right. So give people your respect and look at people when you are talking to them. Put the phone down sometimes and show people you care about them by engaging in the conversation.” As I listened to God’s voice while I was talking to her, he dropped something else in my Spirit and it went something like this. “If your mom or I are doing it, it’s wrong as well. If you see us on the phone and we are not giving you the same attention, ask us for our attention and ask us to put the phone down.” I am so sure this made her understand that this applies to everyone and not just because she is a child. I want my kids to understand that being an adult does not mean (like most people grew up believing the lie) that you can do whatever you want to do without any regard to how it is perceived.

So live free, but be a slave to righteousness. As my dear brother Tim often says, “Do right because it’s right to do.”

Yes, the Lord has made us free. That means now we have a responsibility to show the world that just because we can do whatever, doesn’t mean we should.