F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real)

Today, October 31st, is the day that is known as Halloween.

Many people will be wearing costumes as some of the scariest monsters and some of the most favorite superheroes ever thought of. Every year we see different types of masks, costumes, outfits, and even some original ideas people put together like UPS packages, BART train machines, and even ATM machines. Many people will decorate their houses and turn them into party locations and some as elaborate as haunted houses, trails that lead to a bucket of candy, and even lights with tombstones, cobwebs, skeletons, and even coffins. How many of us have been scared by some of the things we've seen on Halloween? How many times have we seen a mask or a costume that scared us out of our wits?

Billy had an older brother and he always wanted to go trick-or-treating with him and his friends. His older brother did not want to take this little brat with him.

One year, when Billy turned 11, he finally got his brother to let him go with him and his brother’s friends. They went from house to house collecting candy and enjoying themselves to the fullest. Ever since they were young, they were told to pass up the dark houses and only go to the houses that were well lit. One time while they were out they came to a house that was well lit and they ring the doorbell. They waited patiently and rang the doorbell again and finally someone came. The lady came to the door and said, "I'm sorry we have no more candy. I apologize I just forgot to turn off my light." Billy his brother and his old friends were very disappointed but they moved on.

They came by one house that was completely dark. They knew the rule about going to dark houses, but for some reason this one called them to it. It was dark but there was a large bucket of candy on the porch. Everyone was afraid including the biggest person among the group. For some reason Billy decided he would go into the house. This was largely due to the fact that Billy wanted to be accepted by his brothers and his brothers' friends. He sure wanted to fit in so of course Billy did what they said. This house was completely dark with just a few dim lights to let you know someone was there but no one knew if they were welcome. The front door was wide open and it was pitch black inside. It didn't matter. He had his eye set on that large bucket of candy. As Billy walked up feeling brave but yet scared, he stepped up the first step and froze. Billy walked up the second step and froze. Nothing happened. As Billy reached out to grab the candy, he saw a big figure with a big scary mask come running at him full speed yelling, "AHHHHHHHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Billy turned to run and as he darted past his brother he noticed that he and his brothers friends were laughing. He stopped and looked back and noticed that his brothers’ friend Dontae was standing in the doorway holding the scary mask in his hand. Suddenly he knew that this was all a game and that what he had feared was really a big joke.

Just like Dontae who scared Billy half to death, many of us don't realize that our fears are wearing the same type of costumes and masks.

We are afraid of illnesses that haven't even manifested. We are going to the doctor in fear expecting the worst news we have ever heard in our lives, not even realizing that most of the time we create an illness because of the fear we have within us. And how many of us avoid the doctors office, avoid check ups, avoid exams, and avoid medical tests just because we don't want to get bad news. Isn't it better to know what condition you're in rather than to suffer and not know why? Just because you avoided it, doesn't mean it's going away.

We are afraid of being alone so we fill up the space doing things we don't even enjoy to impress people we don't even like or who don't even like us. We keep people in our lives that have no regard or respect for us. We hold onto relationships that mean us no good. We are in one-sided relationships, personal and business related, that are most of the time the reason why we can't move forward. We do this for fear of being alone or fear of starting over.  

We are afraid of what might happen in our lives most of the time so we create scenarios in our heads about what might happen and cause anxiety about something that hasn't even happened yet. We play the argument out before we even get in front of the other person. We cuss the person out in our heads and win the argument even before we get in front of the person. That person probably isn't even thinking about you.

What it looks like is often not what it is. I am learning more and more to really relax in the midst of every situation and allow things to play out and watch as well as pray so that I do not mess up whatever purpose each thing has in my life. Everything that happens to you and I has a purpose. And the things I fear are really just wearing masks and costumes and all they really want is some attention much like the kids that are going from door-to-door searching for someone who will feed them. What fear are you feeding? What problem are you contributing to and making it larger than what it really is?

(I hope no one is offended by this next statement.) What prayer requests are you putting out and not believing God for yourself? Why would you ask people to pray for you and not believe that God can do it? A prayer request should be something you believe God can do for you but you just need some other people to believe God with you. Many of our prayer requests are not answered not because it's not God's will, but simply because we have unbelief. James 1:6 says, "But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind."

Stop getting mad because your fears keep knocking at your door asking for more candy. It only came because it knew you were home and that you would answer the door. Your lights are on. Turn them off so fear will know you’re out of food. Turn off the lights of depression by talking to someone whether it’s a professional, authority figure or a strong authority figure. Turn off the lights of the thoughts of suicide by not allowing yourself to be isolated in your thoughts. Turn off the lights of quitting before you get through the process by making a plan to win. Turn off the lights of failure by working hard to succeed until you do. Turn off the lights of guilt and shame by admitting what you did, forgiving yourself, and moving on. Turn off the lights of worry by facing the issue at hand. I read a quote this morning that said, “Worry is a total waste of time. It doesn’t change anything. All it does is steal your joy and keeps you very busy doing nothing.” So face worry by getting up and doing something.

The acronym F.E.A.R. has been broken down as false evidence appearing real. That is exactly what it is. The evidence is false. Your fear is costumed or masked by something else. So do what Billy didn’t do and embrace your fear so you can get past it. In the words of my friend Mz Dee, "Face Everything And Rejoice."

Behind the fear of failure is accomplishing some hard work and the will and ability to succeed. Behind the fear of being alone are finding and falling in love with yourself and eventually finding someone who truly loves and cares about you.

The problem with fear is that it is so successful because it is a part of the Union of unbelievers and it is being fed. Max Lucado says it like this, "Feed your fears and your faith will starve. Feed your faith and your fears will."

THIS IS FOR THE BIRDS

Let me first make a disclaimer that the information I am about to share is (for the most part) observational.

At my son’s school, they have a pretty large yard that is just about as large enough for about four hundred kids to play on. There is a fairly new play structure and a couple basketball hoops. There are always these pigeons walking around looking for scraps of food. They try to tell the kids do not leave the scraps or their lunchboxes lying around or the pigeons will peck at it, but you know how most kids are. They won’t hear that until they see something happen. There was a kid once that came running up to a teacher crying, “Someone took my bag! Someone took my bag!” As we turned to look, we saw the pigeon on the other side of the yard dragging the bag and pecking through it while other pigeons flew in to battle over the sandwich and whatever was left in the lunch.

I can’t help but notice that pigeons are usually walking around on the ground bobbing their head forward as they walk looking for scraps of what everyone else has left behind. They only fly when they feel threatened, frightened or when they have to get around an object and that’s the only way. They usually only fly low until they get somewhere else.

In all my ten years of teaching at this school, I have only seen pigeons there. This week though, I was told there was a hawk that was stuck in the cafeteria. The fairly large bird (known as a Cooper’s hawk) was stuck in the multi-purpose room high up in the window where the front door is. For some reason he flew inside the cafeteria and was now sitting in the window ceil at the top of the building inside. The ceiling is very, very high. In that window you could see out to the sky and the yard. The hawk was sitting there I’m sure afraid and lonely. One of the teachers told me that the hawk was there from Monday until Wednesday. The hawk hadn’t eaten for a couple days and was weak and hungry. They also said the hawk was young and a little inexperienced. By law they could not get a broom or another object to bring it down because it was an endangered species. If they had hurt the hawk, they could be charged and someone would have to serve some jail time. They closed down the auditorium and no one was allowed in there until they could figure out how to get this poor hawk out. The kids had to quietly come in and get their lunches and quietly go out to the yard and eat. It was a mess as I was told. Finally, there was a man named Dom that was an experienced professional who had come with a net to try and help the hawk out of the building. As Dom reached up to help him, the hawk was frightened and flew against the window really hard trying to get out and broke his own neck and fell to the ground. They took the hawk to the Academy of Sciences later that afternoon.

As I was hearing this story I couldn’t help but ask the teacher, “Why didn’t the hawk just fly out of the building?” His reply was, “The hawk could only see clearly what was up high. They only flew low to find food. They only flew low when they have to.” This teacher went on to say, “They prey on other creatures like birds and rodents. Cooper’s Hawks usually fly high and they only go a little lower to feed on other smaller birds. If they can’t find other birds they will fly low and swoop to the ground to find a rodent. This Cooper’s Hawk got stuck inside because he was chasing pigeons.”

As I was hearing this, I was hit like a ton of bricks with information and I knew I had to get to a notepad to write this down or type it out. I immediately thought of how this relates to us as people. I started asking myself, “Marcus, are you more like the Cooper’s Hawk or the pigeon? Do you spend most of your time on the ground or in the sky? Are your thoughts mostly on the ground finding stuff to eat or are you trying to find something in the sky?” As the famous quote says, “You are what you eat.” It is also significant to note that pigeons are usually found in flocks on the ground while you will only find one or two hawks together at a time.

Think about that. Are the people you spend time with spending more time on the ground or in the sky? Are the prayer requests you tell people about in the sky or on the ground? Do you talk about your situation down to the ground (being negative) or do you speak up in the sky about it? I know some of us tend to say things like, “I am just being realistic about it.” No! What we call “realistic” is really just giving us an excuse to talk down and low. We are spending too much time on the ground like the pigeons looking for bags of trash to drag around and pecking at leftover lunches when we could really find food in the sky. 

I will leave you with this, Philippians 4:8 says, ^“Finally, brethren (brothers and sisters), whatsoever things are true (facts or in the word of God), whatsoever things are honest (free of deceit or untruth), whatsoever things are just (morally right or fair), whatsoever things are pure (free of contamination), whatsoever things are lovely (beautiful or glamorous), whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue (high moral standards), and if there be any praise (approval or admiration), think on these things.”

SIMON SAYS or SIMON DOES?

I recently watched a couple of videos on YouTube about two puppies at the top of small six step staircases. The first one is of a puppy that the owner is trying to get to come down the stairs. She is calling the puppy to come down the stairs but the puppy keeps whining and looking at the stairs but will not make those steps to come down. There is a cat behind the puppy that keeps running behind the puppy playing with its tail and jumping over the puppy. The owner even goes so far to place a couple snacks on the stairs to distract the puppy. The puppy would only grab the snack that was close enough without having to go down the steps. This went on and on for a while and the puppy never went down the steps.

The second video I watched was about a puppy named Daisy. Daisy was at the top of the steps as well. Daisy did the same thing as the first puppy. She would whine and whimper and look down but never make those steps. In this second video, there was a larger dog named Simon. Simon walked up and down the steps to show Daisy how it was down. Daisy watched Simon do this, looked and even reached her paw down, but still was scared, whining and whimpering. Daisy retracted and walked back further from the top of the stairs and sat down whimpering even more. Simon goes up to where Daisy is and proceeds to be where she is in an effort to make her comfortable. Simon goes back down the steps and a miraculous thing happens. Daisy makes her way down one, then two, then three steps stopping right in the middle. She is whimpering and is still afraid. Simon goes up and grabs her with his teeth by the neck just soft enough to hold her. It was almost like Simon was saying, “Daisy, you are not going back up those stairs! You’re halfway there, now come down three more.” She steps again and before you know it, Daisy is down the last couple steps making her way down to the bottom. 

What were the similarities? Both staircases were six steps. Both of them were puppies. Both of them were afraid to step down. Both of them had support. What were the differences? The first puppy had one person in the background that talked a little to the puppy encouraging the puppy to come down the stairs. Daisy had two people in the background encouraging her and a larger, more experienced dog named Simon to show her that it can be done. The first puppy had a little support and was offered treats and would not come down. The second puppy had no treats but had support and an example named Simon to show her the way.

We all remember the old game as kids we used to play called “Simon Says.” They would say, “Simon says do this or that” and you would do whatever the person who was Simon says. The first puppy had a Simon that said and the second one had an actual Simon that DID IT!

There is so much truth to the phrase, “Talk is cheap.” It is really easy to hear somebody say things like, “You can make it. You can do it. Do this or do that.” I notice that God has even given me an edge with the kids I teach at school. When I tell them to do things, some of them will do it. However, I notice when I tell them little things about my life and how my story relates to theirs, they are quiet tuned in and eyes are glued to me. They are waiting to hear about something that will hit home for them.

What about you? Are you a Simon says or a Simon does? Are you going around barking at people telling them to make a step and do this or that? Or are you showing people how to do this or do that. Theodore Roosevelt was quoted saying, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Think about the examples you had in your life. Most of the time, you moved because you saw that it was possible through someone else. It’s time we stopped complaining about where we are and how bad it is. Instead look for other examples and find other people who made it through what you are going through and ask questions. Don’t struggle alone like the first puppy. You need to look around like Daisy and see all the support you have and look for your Simon that will show you how it can be done and gently grab you by the neck and not let you go. Every team has their cheerleaders or cheering devoted fans or supportive team mates that cheer them into victory. This is your time. Make a step and walk down those stairs. You will be so glad you did.

CAN YOU HANDLE THE TRUTH?

John 8:31 – 32 says, “To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
“What is truth? Well the dictionary defines truth as:
the quality of being true, genuine, actual, or factual; a proven or verified principle or statement; fact…
The truth is something that is indisputable. It can be proven by facts and it stands the test of any challenge and the test of time.
Going deeper, there is absolute truth and relative truth.

Matt Slick wrote, “That which is absolute is always true. That which is relative is not necessarily always true. For example, it is always true that the number seven is greater than the number five. It's always true that something cannot bring itself into existence.

On the other hand, one person may believe that blue is a better color than green where another person may disagree. In this case, what is true for one person is not true for another. Therefore, there can be truths that are relative that change. The person who believes that blue is a better color than green may change his or her mind later on.”

A quote by Mark Twain says, “A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." My spiritual father, Pastor Walker, used to ask the question, “Why does the truth travel slower than a lie? Because lies have wings and can travel quickly, while the truth has feet and it takes time to get there. The difference is, the lies will eventually have to come down and will have nothing to stand on.”

The truth is a very funny thing. Often times it is really hidden in the details that are right in front of our faces. “So if that’s true, then why don’t we see it right out the gate?” Perhaps it’s not that we don’t see it. It could be that we see it but dismiss it. A mother can see that her daughter is getting heavier and knows that she has been wearing big clothes and knows that her daughter is acting strange. Her mother’s intuition kicks in and she knows that her daughter is pregnant, but she dismisses that because she does not want to accept that. This is her baby girl. She cannot fathom that her baby has engaged in sexual activity. So her emotions override the truth.

Other times we already have the “truth” that we want to hear, so we lie ourselves past the truth so that we feel better.

-We know that we are being cheated on. The signs are all there.                                       -We know that we don’t have enough money to get the new iPhone for eight or nine hundred dollars but we find a way around it by borrowing the money knowing we can’t pay it back right away or writing a check knowing that it will bounce.                                           -We know that we are going to be late to a commitment. When asked if we can make it on time we lie and make people believe that we will be there and on time.

Instead of us accepting that as the truth, we decide to put that on trial in our minds. We put our feelings on jury duty and hire a judge called the honorable “Desired Truth” and have a complete trial in our heads to dispute what we already know to be the absolute truth.

We also try and protect others from the real truth. If you see someone with a bad haircut, their outfit is not quite fitting them or they have bad hygiene you should tell them the truth. Of course, do it in love. Pull them to the side and have a loving talk with them as if they are your brother or sister. Disclaimer here, some people really don’t want to know the truth. You can tell them in the most loving way, but they will take it the wrong way or just will not hear you. At least you did tell them the truth. People will always respect you for telling them the truth whether they say it or not. Besides, “The only people who are mad at you for telling the truth are those people who are living a lie.”

Also, because of the inability to trust, we have so often sentenced people to an incarceration of separation from us because of our accusations. Because of our inability to trust others, we choose to not believe what is the absolute truth.

The absolute truth is that the truth can be hard to swallow. It can be difficult to accept what is really the truth. How do we find deliverance out of this predicament? Let’s look back at the scripture I shared earlier.

John 8:31 – 32 says, “To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples.”
What is a disciple? A disciple is someone who follows another. They are devoted to trusting the one they are following. The disciple is learning from that person. They are being disciplined. This is not necessarily meaning to beat or chastise. Disciplined actually means to be taught and trained. Jesus was saying that if I am really your teacher, then you should be holding on to what I am teaching you without disputing it. His words should be life to us. We should declare as Paul wrote in Romans 3:4 “Let God be true and every man be a liar.” If you look back in the third verse it says, “What if some were unfaithful? Will their faithfulness nullify God’s faithfulness? Not at all!” Just because God allows evil, doesn’t make Him evil. So in a quest to find truth, there are some things we should do.

1.    ASK QUESTIONS
When you are trying to find the truth, there are times when people will not tell you straight out what the truth is. You have to ask questions sometimes. And don’t just ask ANY kind of questions. You have to ask specific questions depending on the situation. *

2.    SHUT UP and LISTEN
A man I knew in ministry in San Diego used to always say, “If you let people talk, they will eventually hang themselves.” I never realized how true that was until I started listening attentively to people. Don’t listen with a convicting ear. Listen openly accepting and embracing what they are actually saying.
John 8:32 says, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” That word “know” means to recognize. This is also known as discernment.

3.    USE DISCERNMENT
Discernment is the ability to judge well. You have to discern things without allowing your emotions to cloud your judgment. For those who are Gladiators, you know Ms. Olivia Pope talks about this in Scandal. Listen to the details and recognize what is true and what is not true. As stated earlier, the truth is often hidden in the details.

Slick, M. (2014). Are there absolutes or is everything relative? Retrieved October 3, 2014, from http://carm.org/are-there-absolutes