DECISIONS

WARNING: This message is not for the faint of heart or the easily offended. What you are about to hear could cause you to question where you are or cause you to rethink your position in life. Either way, it's not intended to offend or hurt in any way.

Let's talk about Decisions.

When we were babies, our parents would dress us because we were not able to do anything ourselves. They would feed us because we were not able to even say we were hungry. They would change us when we used the bathroom on ourselves because we could not walk and go to the bathroom. They would talk to us and encourage us to talk because we didn't know how yet.

Later on as toddlers we either learned to crawl or were learning to walk. We learned how to use our hands so we could do a few things ourselves. They would still dress us because we didn't know how to properly do it yet. The feeding was a little different. They still fed us some things but some stuff like finger foods we could feed ourselves. They still needed to break stuff down so we wouldn't choke. We were learning about bathroom stuff so we were either still in diapers or being potty trained. This stage in life we talked to some degree or we had a pretty vast vocabulary. Some words were still pretty challenging. For me I would say words like "Pahsgetti" for Spaghetti and "Muse-gick" for music. My son would say "Be Covet" for be quiet. I still remember my oldest daughter crawling around on the floor talking about "come-meer-baby" to everybody she seen because of what we would say to her.

By school age, walking was like drinking water. And talking we did so much of, our parents couldn't wait till we fell asleep to get some peace and quiet because we even talked while we ate. We could dress ourselves but some of our choices would have people laughing so hard they felt bad. Some of us were pretty stylish so we had no problem in this area. We could for sure feed ourselves but still could not prepare it yet. Most of us learned to use the bathroom but some of us still had a few issues at night or judging when to go. I was one of those.

By the time we were in Middle School, we think we had the world figured out. It was then when everything came crashing down. It was then or before for some of us, that we were fully exposed and introduced to severely mean kids, puberty, drugs, sex, alcohol and this stupid thing called self-identity. And by High School, most of us were learning to manage everything on our own. 

All that simple stuff we had down to a science. Unless there were some mental, physical or psychological issues, we learned to prepare food and feed ourselves, dress ourselves well, take care of bathroom and hygiene issues. Oh and the talking? By high school I had developed a pretty extensive vocabulary including how to tell someone to go jump in a lake with some harsh and severe words that would give our grandparents a cardiac arrest because it came from us, their innocent angels.

We are supposed to grow up and be able to do things on our own. So why do some of us revert to being babies, toddlers, middle or high schoolers when we are faced with problems in life. 

Some of us behave like the baby when problems come. We ignore it like we don't see it or just do nothing about it. I'm talking about the problems that have been lingering for a long time. We act like it doesn't exist like the baby who doesn't know what to do. We wait for a preacher, a partner or a prayer call to feed us a word because WE THINK we are incapable of getting it on our own. We lose our ability to change ourselves and expect someone else to clean up our mess like Oprah, Dr. Phil, Iyanla Vanzant or Tania not Tanya. What you fail to realize is those people I just named had to put in work to get where they are. The reason why the Fire didn't burn them was because they put up a fight. Yet, we do nothing at all but cry and expect God to do something about it. We behave like talking is even impossible. You could at least say something. But no. That's too much for the baby do we lay there just crying about it.

Then there are those of us who are like the toddler or school aged child. We approach the problem for a minute but when it gets hard, we retreat and run and cry and ask someone to do something pointing our finger at it and complaining. We feed ourselves a couple scriptures (or striptures) maybe like once a week and only read the simple stuff because we are afraid we'll choke off the meat. So we wait till the preacher like Bishop TD Jakes, Jamal Bryant, Sheryl Brady, Joyce Meyer, Joel Osteen or my sister Lisa Porter or my big sister ReVonda Williams can break it down for us. We pray a little bit because we can talk somewhat but when it gets tough we get someone else that we think knows how to pray to handle it. Prayer is like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. Are you behaving like the baby, the toddler or the school-aged kid?

Now if you're up to at least the Middle Schooler, you're doing pretty well. The only problem is you're approaching a middle school problem with elementary behaviors. It just won't work. You have to roll up your sleeves and get a little dirty. At this stage it is imperative that you learn to deal with some things without the help of others. Even at the high school age is doing very well. The only thing is you have to try not to act more grown than you really are. This is not a criticism for the stage you are in. Whatever stage you are in, it should be your goal to grow and develop.

There are some things we need to be okay with making a decision even if it is the wrong one. Of course everybody wants to make good decisions and choices. Some things are just not completely black and white. It's those things we trust what we know and go for it and allow God to speak to us and direct our path. God is waiting for us to move while we are asking Him to move. And some stuff will feel strange because you have never done it before. Have you ever been in a position when the right decision felt wrong until you made it? If we look deep down within us, God has already given us the answers and solutions to certain questions. It's either hidden in your talent or how you spend your time. Financial issues? Look at your talent. What can you do to earn more? What can you learn that will help you manage what you have better? What are you spending your time doing? Is it a relational problem? What are you spending your time doing that is taking away from the potential success of that relationship? What talent do you have that could enhance that relationship? Think about that for a moment.

Here are a few tips that I think we can kind of go by that will help us all.

1.    American Life Coach and self-help author Anthony “Tony” Robbins said, “It’s your

decisions not your conditions that determine your destiny.” I really do agree. Everybody in life is dealt a hand. You can sit and talk about how bad the hand is or you can come up with a way to play them. It’s not the cards you have been dealt; it’s how you play them.

                         2. Never make permanent decisions on temporary feelings. Sometimes it helps to just sleep on it, search the Word, pray about it and even talk to a friend about it. The way you feel right now may not be how you feel after thinking or praying about it. Just don’t linger too long. 

3.    Don’t base your decisions on the advice of people who don’t have to deal with the result. It’s good to get advice but remember the ultimate decision is yours. God gave us a free will to choose and He expects us to use it. He trusts us to use it, especially as we grow and

mature. Some people give advice that they think is the only true and right answer. No matter how much you tell them, they are not in the situation so it’s impossible for them to totally understand the grand scheme of things. As well, it all boils down to how it will affect your life and who you are.

4.    French fashion designer Coco Chanel said, “Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.” A wall is a wall for a reason. Maybe it’s meant for you to walk around and find the door. And yes, God can turn a wall into a door. But why should he do that when all you have to do is turn around and look for the door he already created? Don’t treat God like a magician. He has already prepared our path. It’s our job to look for it and walk it out.

Some decisions are never easy, but they need to be made. Look back at your life and see how you made decisions before. Now is the time to be better and trust the YOU you are today. You will not make mistakes you made before. And if you make a mistake, so what! That's what erasers are for. God specializes in the white out ministry. If you make a dirty mess with things, don't worry. He already died so his red blood could be spread over it and your stuff will turn white as snow and reappear without a blemish.