THE HEART OF A CHILD

I have been teaching in schools for the past 10 years. It has been one of the most rewarding careers I have ever had. Because I teach all the classes at all three of my schools, it gives me access to every child in each school. I get to know some of them even more because of my after school chorus program. Much like us adults, children also have conflicts and challenges. They have inner conflicts, conflicts with other children and conflicts with other adults. Their challenge is to deal positively with those three areas of conflict, focus on academics in school and still come out on top. The more I spend time with these children the more I realize how much adults and children are alike. The only difference is the heart. 

 I notice that generally the heart of a child is made up of four major qualities: trusting, loyal, loving and dependent. Part of this is definitely because they are naive in many ways. I don’t really believe that is such a bad thing. Naive means “showing a lack of experience, wisdom or judgment.” It also means to be “natural, unaffected and innocent.” Of course all children are different, but generally I find that most children have those four qualities in their heart. So let’s break those down for a moment.

TRUST: Most children will trust almost anyone. They will speak to, reach out to, touch and even sometimes hug a stranger. They will trust people no matter who they are. Because of their inexperience, if you tell them something, they believe it is true. And don’t dare promise them something. They will ask you for it every day until you deliver.

LOYAL: Loyalty is something children are naturally born with. If they say they are your friend, they are your friend for real. They will defend you and fight for you and be there even when you don’t want them to be. They will try and help you with everything. If you give them a responsibility, they will latch on to it and will stick with it. Let me tell you a story about loyalty.

Years ago, when my siblings and I were like school age, my Mom and Dad were outside having an argument. I don’t remember who it was, but one of them told us to get in the car and the other one told us to get out of the car in between them arguing. *We did what both of them said because we didn’t want to let the other one down. We were loyal to both of them because we loved them both equally. We didn’t care what the argument was about. I don’t even remember. All I remember is that I loved my Mom and my Dad. We were willing to be loyal to both.

LOVING: I love getting hugs from the kids at school. Even when I fuss at them and maybe even get on their line, they will see me in the hall and say hi. They will come up to me and hug me. They sometimes even try to be the one getting to say hi first. They will just hang out for no reason at all. When children love, they love very hard and very well.

DEPENDENT: Children have no problem asking for help. They have no problem admitting they can’t do something. In fact, they admit it quickly because they would rather have someone help them than to have to go it alone.
All these four qualities are reality in most children, until something happens. Somewhere in life, they begin to grow and experience pain, abuse and neglect. This changes a child’s heart. They get exposed to being bullied, being molested, being tortured, being verbally attacked and violated in many different ways. These things start to make those four beautiful qualities diminish.

I know you feel like you are grown and you have mastered many things in life and all. Please allow me to make something very clear to you. YOU ARE STILL A CHILD. All of us are still children. Some of us have lost parents, guardians and even other extended family. We are still children. Some things have changed though. We got bigger more expensive toys, we have a little more money than before and we have a few more responsibilities. We are still those children we were before. Some of us have been severely damaged and scarred by life and its many conflicts and challenges.

We have allowed pain and hurt to change our ability to trust. We now are suspecting of everyone. It’s hard to trust now because what they did to me, everyone else is a potential villain. And don’t let some pain happen again. It will only confirm what we already believe. We cannot trust anyone.

We are no longer loyal. People aren’t loyal to us. They let us down every time. So, now we base our loyalty on those who are loyal to us. If you are committed, I’ll be committed.

Don’t even talk about love. If you don’t look good, smell good and look like somebody I could benefit from, why should I “love” you? Wait! Hold on! I thought loving someone was based on what you do for them? I thought love was giving? Don’t the scriptures say that “God is Love?” “That does not matter. I am not God, so I am unable to love that way,” so you say.

“Who? Me? Depend on someone else? Never!” We do not want to depend on someone else because they have the power over us. We are not giving anyone control over our lives. We are not asking for help. If we ask for help then that allows them to say they did it and we need them.

What happened to your heart? Where was it damaged? We have been saying and repeating, “Hurt people, hurt people.” Don’t you think it’s time for you to let some things go and allow your heart to be cleansed again? It’s okay. You can do it. Allow your child like heart to be active again. It’s easier to live a stress free life when you are letting things go and learning to TRUST without remembering the past, BE LOYAL without worrying about if someone else is or isn’t, LOVE someone without expecting anything in return and to DEPEND on someone else to help you without worrying about losing control. Everybody needs somebody. It’s time to dust off that child-like heart again and allow God to mend it, clean it and reconnect it so that the beauty of innocence can once again flow through your veins and become a part of who you are.

Mark 10:15 says, "Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all." I used to think this scripture was only talking about accepting the Lord into your life. But if you look at Romans 14:17, you will see a better explanation of the Kingdom of God. “For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” In other words, the scripture is saying that if I embrace living well (righteous or right living which also has to do with prosperity, health and spirituality), live in peace (no stress, no worrying), live in joy (choose to be happy no matter what my circumstances are) and allow the Holy Spirit to take over my life, I am actually living in the Kingdom of God. Notice in Mark 10:15, it suggests we do that “like a child.” We are to do it with innocence and naturally without giving regard to who hurt us and who damaged us. 

We are to trust people. It doesn’t mean we have to allow them to do whatever they want to us. The Holy Spirit will not allow you to function in life as a fool. The Holy Spirit is there to warn you and keep you aware of things with a deeper understanding of what is going on. We are to be loyal, faithful and committed to God and the people in our lives that we are responsible for or have covenant with. We are to love people even when they don’t love us back. It doesn’t mean you just give them every part of you. And we are to ask for help in the time of need. Don’t allow pride to get in the way. We must embrace these things like children. As if nothing ever happened before.